Monthly Archives: September 2014

The Mindy Project: Prude/Slut Shaming

Last night I watched the most recent episode of the Mindy Project to air in England entitled “Indian BBW”. Now, normally I love this show. It’s about a lovable female doctor who tries to apply the principles of romantic comedies to her everyday life. The episode however was a total departure from the normal formula and managed to simultaneously slut-shame and prude-shame our protagonist in a single episode, which is both impressive and incredibly offensive. Now this episode annoyed me so much that I’m going to do a scene by scene explanation of where the men in her life are going wrong. So without further ado:

The episode opens with Mindy and Danny (her co-worker and latest boyfriend) in bed kissing. Mindy’s first lines in this episode are “Wait, Danny” and “I don’t want to have sex with you.” Danny thinks that this is a joke and responds “Yeah, you’re very classy” and leans in for another kiss despite the fact that Mindy says no about five times before their lips touch.

Mindy says that she doesn’t want to rush things and Danny responds. “We’ve been kissing for 20 minutes. That’s like a week in guy minutes. Don’t I get any credit for that?” Now see, I’m not an expert in romance and sex, but I don’t think that bargaining is the best way to go about it. Especially when you’re making up some dumbass time frame to justify yourself.

Mindy then states that she normally doesn’t sleep with guys until the fifth date and Danny again attempts to bargain saying that they’ve gone on hundreds of dates “doctors lounge dates, subway commute dates, medical conference dates”. And Mindy, the hopeless romantic, surprisingly agrees with him and Danny instantly goes in to kiss her again.

As she pushes Danny away he looks incredibly offended and states “Do you realize there are literally thousands of girls in New York City that would kill to have sex with me right now?” Mindy is dubious about his claim and challenges him to do so in front of her.

So in a bizarre turn of events, Mindy is now stood in her kitchen watching Danny go through his phone book, attempting to find a woman to sleep with. And when no girls take him up on his offer, Mindy actually consoles her boyfriend instead of kicking him out for being so offensive. This wouldn’t be quite so bad if they had an open relationship, but Mindy’s whole character is geared to her finding the special someone and having the story-book relationship, something that Danny should know given the amount of time that he’s spent with her over the years that they’ve worked together.

Danny is then admitted to hospital for viral meningitis and when Mindy goes to visit him he introduced her to his brother as his “co-worker”. When they’re alone, Danny justifies this by saying “You know, we’re not having sex, so technically we’re not dating.” In one single sentence, the show manages to insult an entire community of people who either chose not to have sex for personal/ religious reasons or people whose sexual identity means that they don’t have sex with their partners (eg asexual or demisexual). The implication is that for a relationship to be valid there needs to be a high level of physical connection, and this demeans any relationship which doesn’t fit this standard, and should be interpreted as being highly offensive. Danny then tries to get Mindy to give him a hand job. I will reiterate: Danny is in the hospital for viral meningitis. His sex life should not be his top priority. Mindy however uses it as a justification “It’s your brain fever making you a real pervert.” So this concludes the prude shaming portion of this episode. Onto the slut shaming.

While at the hospital, her co-worker Peter texts Mindy saying that he needs to see her urgently. When she arrives, Peter very excitedly takes her to his computer. He states that while at work her was looking at pornography and he shows her a video that he found on a porn site of her and her ex-boyfriend having sex.

Mindy is naturally horrified and Peter says “What on earth were you thinking? Making a sex tape? Don’t you know that means that creeps like me are going to watch it?” He shows absolutely no shame over having seen the video and even admits to “gratifying” himself while watching. He even commented on the video saying that he knows the ‘actress’. He labels her as a “pornography actress” and despite the fact that she is clearly incredibly upset, Peter very enthusiastically asks questions about the video, such as what the background music was.

Peter and Mindy go to her boyfriend and find out that he lent the sex tape to his brother who was depressed after a break up. The brother then released the film online. While Mindy is upset about the video, Peter is just “super psyched” to meet another porn actor. Despite this, Mindy still views Peter as a friend, albeit a “slimy friend”. The ex says that he’ll destroy the tape the minute he gets home, but Peter points out that when guys say this, they never really mean it. So they demand that he brings the tape to Mindy’s office so that she can dispose of it herself.

The pair then plan to take the video of the internet, but Mindy doesn’t want to visit the offices of the site. Peter replies “You’re being pretty close minded for someone who just got her start in porn.” As though Mindy made a conscious choice about the matter.

They visit the offices but the owners refuse to take the sex tape online because there was a growing market for “Indian BBW” (big beautiful women). Which is both an invasion of her privacy and possibly illegal due to issues surrounding consent. Peter then attempts a motivation speech about morals in an attempt to get them to take the video down. The speech revolves around the fact that he took hundreds of pictures of naked girls whilst he was in college. And did he put them online? “No, because I wouldn’t work it out.” He’s cut off before he reaches the end, but I have no idea how was that story going to end well. Eventually the video is taken down purely because Peter went to the same college as the men in charge of the porn site. But they then immediately offer her to star in another film, something that she actually considers due to the amount of money involved.

Meanwhile, Mindy’s ex leaves sex tape on her desk in plain sight of everyone. Another co-worker accidentally brings the disc to Danny who reads the message “For you Babe. In case you miss me” and assumes that the video must be for him. He plays the video and even though it is instantly clear that the tape isn’t for him, he doesn’t turn it off. Instead he covers his eyes and yells at the screen.

When Mindy enters the room, Danny immediately calls her a sicko and yells “Where you taking it slow when you made this with Tom?” He calls her disgusting even though she’s visibly upset and says that one of the main reasons he’s upset is that it would be bad for their medical practice.
Mindy then collapses as she’s caught Danny’s strain of meningitis. Peter instantly comments that her shirt is up, and Danny yells at him, telling him not to look. THEN they call for a nurse. While Mindy is hospitalised, Peter attempts to cheer her up by saying that tape had a lot going against it “bad lighting, female director.” Nice sexism asshole.

Mindys ex Tom shows up to apologise to Danny. He states that his girlfriend doesn’t know about the sex tape, and that she thinks that he is a virgin. As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post about Barney from How I Met Your Mother, lying to women in order to coerce them into having sex with you is a crime and makes the characters that do so rapists. During his apology, Tom explains that he and Mindy had sex so often because they didn’t like spending time with each other and that’s his justification for everything that’s happened. Danny realises that Mindy must be taking it slow with him because she unlike Tom, she likes spending time with him and he decides to forgive her despite the fact that she hasn’t done anything wrong. And the episode ends with a supposedly romantic reconciliation.

It seems that no matter what Mindy does, the men in her life are going to make her feel bad about her sex life. When she decides that it’s too soon for sex it’s met with a baffling attempt at bargaining and she’s labelled as a prude. When she has an active sex life, the men around her can’t be trusted. They share tapes of her having sex, post them online and will unashamedly watch them and tease her about it. In one episode, the Mindy Project manages to both prude shame and slut shame its protagonist.

So as you can probably tell, I was pretty upset about the latest episode. Did you have a similar reaction? Or did you think that it was purely comedy? Feel free to let me know in the comments.

#Report Sam Pepper

Alternative title: In which the internet has finally realized that Sam Pepper is a bastard.

The first time I encountered Sam Pepper was when he appeared as a guest in the show Virtually Famous in which they featured his video “How to Make Out with Strangers”. As I watched, I couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that this guy was an asshole and was baffled by how many people saw him as a “legend” due to his ability to coerce women into kissing him.

There has since been worse videos including acts such as him handcuffing himself to strangers until they kiss him and more recently there was the infamous ‘bum pinch’ video in which he “pranked” women by pinching their ass while not looking.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that a wide number of people were similarly appalled with this video and thus #reportSamPepper was born. Of course, with all issues which could be deemed feminist, there was a significant backlash with people saying that it was nothing more than a harmless prank. However, any sane minded person who has viewed the video should view it as an invasion of personal space and sexual harassment.

I have no problem with pranking as a concept. But it should NEVER be done to strangers. Sam Pepper often approaches random women on the street, forcing them to participate in their videos, with absolutely no idea of their backgrounds. The women who he force to kiss him may not be attracted to men (and I can guarantee that none are attracted to the grease-ball himself) or may be adverse to any kind of sexual contact. The women he handcuffed may suffer from PTSD and be triggered from a feeling of being trapped. The women he harass could have been sexually abused in the past and could be traumatized by the invasive contact. These are extreme examples of course, but the point still stands that when it comes to strangers you have no idea what the boundaries are and shouldn’t make it your mission to push them. I can guarantee that none of the featured women will look back fondly on their time in Sam Peppers videos where their harassment was turned into public entertainment.

Thankfully there was a strong enough backlash to get the video removed and even a lot of famous youtubers weighed in on the subject. Most notably Laci Greens open letter and Hank Green publicly banning Sam Pepper from VidCon.

Since the video was removed, Sam Pepper has  back-pedaled, saying that it was all a “social experiment” and a PSA about sexual harassment. I do feel better that the women in this video had given their full consent to be involved. But the fact remains that this video just highlights the problems with every one of his other videos.

The main problem with this situation is that Pepper has wrongly assumed that all of his viewers will have watched the explanation. Some people will have just watched the offending videos without having heard his weak excuse for his actions. So many people will see the videos and think that this is acceptable behavior. It legitimizes the behaviors and assists in the normalization of sexually harassing women on the streets. And that’s the real issue that needs to be addressed.

How Do People Find This Blog …?

One of my favorite features of WordPress stats is the ‘search engine terms’ which shows you some of the searches that people have made that have led to your blog. I thought that for todays post, I would share some of the more bizarre search terms which have lead people to my blog and the posts that I think they ended up at. So lets have at it:

  • girl who gets eaten in ‘interview with the vampire” (I don’t think I actually addressed this one in Book vs Film: Interview with the Vampire. My bad. There were a few of them though.)
  • showhowmolloyisturnedininterviewwiththevampire (This one I did answer. But maybe a working space bar would help your searches.)
  • why beauty and the beast has so many continuity errors (I ask myself this every day. And I tried to provide an actual answer to it in A Guide to the Plot Holes in Beauty and the Beast )
  • why i hate big bang theory (I have a post for that, creatively titled Why I Hate Big Bang Theory )
  • lucy big bang theory social anxiety (And this is why I hate it. Not the character, but the characterization of social anxiety)
  • i hate the big bang theory (I’m sensing a theme here….)
  • i fucking hate raj from big bang theory
  • big bang hate
  • i/ hate lucy from big bang theory
  • big bang theory insulting social anxiety
  • why i hate penny big bang theory 2014 (I haven’t posted about Penny yet. I do hate her but for entirely different reasons)
  • hate raj big bang theory (Yeah he sucks.)
  • harry potter do you love me (I have one on Harry Potter: Important Quotes ?)
  • animated younger brother mischief (If its about siblings, then they probably found my Top Five Animated Siblings )
  • black widow “aromantic” (Something I hope for but haven’t written about.)
  • manga sibling complex popluar brother and normal sister (…Probably Top Five Animated Siblings again. But they were probably disappointed… I’d read that manga.)
  • why are boys afraid of periods (It probably says something about society that I have 5 of the exact same searches asking Why Are Men So Afraid of Periods? )
  • erotic disney beauty beast (…..Why?)
  • isn’t ballet ppainful (Yes. Yes it is. It’s pretty Badass)
  • sexy heroine wearing no dress (That is the exact opposite to the subject of Issues with Super-heroine Costumes.)
  • peter patter grew harry potter (Oh yes. I talked about Mr Patter Grew extensively in The Symbolism Behind the Marauders )
  • rat guy harry potter (Now you’re not even trying.)
  • anime boobs comparison chart (I weep for humanity.)
  • how i had sex with a demon (My demons are a bit less promiscuous. They tell me Not to Have Sex)
  • sex demon chastity (What were you hoping to achieve when you searched this?)
  • sabina altynbekova fanart (I argued against the fanart stuff in How Internet Admiration Can Ruin Women’s Careers)
  • sabina altynbekova fuck hard (For fucks sake.)
  • vanellope at hogwarts fanfiction (I talk about Vanellope in Disney’s Non Princess Heroines. But there was no Hogwarts involved. I deeply apologize.)
  • venellope at hogwarts fanfiction (You were right the first attempt.)
  • mowgi’s temptress (SHE SHOULD NOT BE CALLED A TEMPTRESS! And I argue why the child shouldn’t be classified as a temptress in Disney’s Non Princess Heroines)
  • remus lupin sirius black jk rowling evidence (I don’t have a post on this and now I want to write one.)
  • barney stinson rape culture (Barney Stinson: The Rapist. I’m always happy when people acknowledge that he’s not charming, he’s a rapist.)
  • the girl who didnt get the role in the hercules 2014 because she was to pretty (I have no idea. But now I want to know. I’m afraid I just wrote about Disney’s Hercules)
  • drew barrymore lost virginity (Jesus Christ guys.)

And on that note… I look forward to more weird and wonderful searches in the future. Thank you to everyone who typed something into google and accidentally ended up in at my blog. I really appreciate it.