Plenty of Fish?

I honestly didn’t mean for this blog to start out so girly. But here’s another post about my love life. Or, to be specific, my lack of one.

It’s a running joke in my family that I’m going to become a ‘spinster’. I use the word ‘joke’ in the loosest sense because, of course, I don’t find it funny at all. The most annoying version of this apparently hilarious joke came when someone asked me what I get once I graduate. I replied “a bachelors degree” and a family member (who shall remain nameless despite how annoying this was) helpfully amended my answer to “you mean a spinster degree”. Because clearly, my lack of love life is far more relevant than my academic successes.

Thanks to my family’s near constant nagging on the subject, I was finally convinced to join a dating website a few months ago. And to be honest, the only thing it’s good for is reminding me of why I’m single. Genuine highlights from my inbox include:

• I’d love you to hold my pole like you do in that picture 😉  (The picture is me on a swing-set. This kind of come-on is not what you want your first impression to be guys.)
• begning to freak me out that every women i intend on messaging seems to do karate 😀 lol thought id say hi anyway. (1. Dear god that’s terrible writing. 2. Girls who can fight? The horror!)
• your cute (That it. That’s all of the message. *You’re)
• Hey bbe xxxx (Just….ew.)
• Please talk to me, Im rubbish on pof hah x (Yay desperation)

I’ve also seen one guy who’s written on his profile “Some women spend so much time looking for their ‘Superman’ that they ignore Clark Kent.“ Because God forbid that women have a preference in the kind of men that they’re attracted to.

There’s plenty of fish in the sea is a fine claim. Its the shame the fish I manage to catch act like they emerged from Mariana’s Trench.